Holy crap Batman!!! Someone commented on my blog.
Just had the worst date ever. Someone I met on line. I knew from the first moment we met that it was wrong wrong wrong. But I went ahead anyway. It took me an hour to get there so in for a penny and all that.
So we had a shag, it almost felt rude not to. So it was two hours from start to end. Why did I do it? Well better than sitting in an empty house watching tv. I had done my laundry and food shopping for the week and ironing for that matter. I even did a bit of waxing as the photos on the internet looked very promising. I thought I should look my best.
I even exfoliated and not having any product in the house, I combined couscous, salt, oats, mango yogurt and some coconut bath creme and I am telling you, smooth as a baby's bum and cost next to nothing.
I had the need to exfoliate as I have just had weeks in the sun and my skin has turned into flaky leather. I thought I should have smooth creamy skin for my date. I sort of wish I had kept all the hair and not bloody bothered.
Whoever said bad sex is better than no sex has never had ANY sex.
So I go back to work on Monday after a few weeks off. Actually have been off for eight months on account of my father suddenly dropping dead and leaving me some money. Needless to say I have spent most of the money on my trip round the world. Sort of wish I had bought a new couch and a plasma screen now that I am back.
The two highlights of the trip was swimming with the dolphins and landing back in heathrow. I've talked about that so no point rehashing all that. I know, ungrateful dumb ass that I am, starving children and people walking/hobbling around with no limbs and all that.
The worst part of the date was that after I had my shower, I looked in the mirror and yep, I have gained weight. It's this week, I have been sat on my ass recovering from this cough I came back with, eating like a hyena and not moving a muscle.
So back to eating like a sparrow and back to the gym as soon as I stop coughing up phlegm...not a good look at any gym
